(Eli with his cousin Bella. Family is a huge support)
We are at the point in this second adoption when we are hearing about children potentially in need of adoption. Like the last time, we cannot and will not share details that are not our story to share yet. Those stories belong to those children and their first parents, until it becomes part of our story. We do sometimes share details with those closest to us, particularly other adoptive families. We know the understand the sacredness of a child's story, and offer unconditional support. Just know that this part of the journey is tough. As you weigh options, you are weighing the life of a person. I could not do this without Christ in my life. There is NO.WAY.
This week, I am so grateful for the support around us. From quick responses to emailed questions, to texts of support, to links to blogs to read. We felt loved. I spent this morning with two other adoptive moms and our collective five children. To be able to vent, share, pray, express frustration and joy without threat of judgement or fear of being misunderstood. The value of this in my life is beyond anything I could quantify. Thank you, ladies. Watching our children smile together makes my heart sing.
I also spent a significant amount of time on the phone with our pediatrician. I don't know how many of you have sat and cried with your pediatrician, but I have. Over children that did not become ours, over children that might, over the child that did. There are unknowns in adoption, and I am so, so thankful for him. The conversation we had today involved faith. This man of science told me that he can read me every statistic in the book about any diagnosis, and can tell us from his 30+ years in the field what he has seen. And he assured me that amounts to a heap of nothing without FAITH. Faith that if we feel a connection to a child, God will support us in it. Assurance that he and his practice also will support us in it. After discussing medical specifics of a certain child, he asked me, "Now tell me what your emotional connection is to this child? Why do you feel drawn to find out more? Because that's what really matters. If this child is meant to be yours, all the other stuff will be okay."
He further reiterated that every child needs a home, even the ones who have had a rough start in life, and shared that in the two years of getting to know my husband and I, he believes that maybe certain children are put in our path because we can handle it. I am not saying this to flatter myself, but to share that this man's words moved me to tears. We can often discount our own strengths, abilities, and resources when confronted with fear. It's uplifting to be supported by those around us.
I realize that there are readers and friends who will want to know more after reading this post...I cannot give you that. Adoption is also full of rabbit trails that lead nowhere, state-to-state legal roadblocks, and changes of heart on both sides. Nothing is imminent, nothing is concrete. So don't ask us, because that's the same answer you will get :) What you CAN do is pray for the lives that God is moving in as He writes this love story...